New Beginnings

 September brings in new beginnings in so many ways. With the seasons changing, it always serves as a reminder that so does life change in similar ways. This fall, a lot is changing for me. 

All 3 of my children are school aged for the first time in over 8 years. I have no kids running around the house from the hours of 815 to 330. Honestly, 2 weeks into this transition and it's been so many emotions all mixed together. It's been a combination of missing them, loving the alone time, wondering what to do with this time, sort of finding myself again, and feeling slightly guilty for liking the alone time. 

I am glad that all 3 of them are liking school and seem to be doing well so far. With one kid in high school, and 2 in elementary school, our house is a plethora of emotions big and small on a daily basis. I'm finding that no matter the age of the kids, they need parents just as much just in different ways. 

As for me, I feel like I'm 35 and reevaluating what makes me happy again. The habits that used to make me happy in my 20's and the things I chased for satisfaction don't really fill me the way they used to. I feel like I'm on the precipice of new beginnings with these changes happening and its exciting and scary. 

I have always loved writing and reading for that matter. And already I've finished a book and started writing a bit again with this time. I feel like when your kids are young or when you have multiple kids, it's easy to lose yourself a bit in motherhood. I don't regret anything about the last few years but looking back on the photos of the times, it makes you think of who you are and who the years have formed you to be in the current moments of your life. The last few years, although hard and self-sacrificing have taught me a lot and been some of the most amazing years of my life. 

So here we go into this new stage of working overnights, having kids in school, and getting my health and self to the best version I can. 

Any excuse for a new beginning is something I've always loved. I think that's why I've always likes New year's or the first days of the new months, they're excuses to start over and keep moving forward. I want to be a better example for myself and my kids of a happy healthy mom. Starting fresh...

   - xo Alicia