Spring, Death and new beginnings
Death is funny. I feel like as a society we don't put enough emphasis on death or preparing for it. It's always made my mind work in funny ways when it has happened to someone connected to me.
Recently death has hit me in an unexpected way. There's a transition in life that I didn't expect. Growing up, I lost grandparents but the loss of other family members who I ignorantly have always viewed as in their 40's, I didn't really prepare for.
Death has always made me sad. I said to someone the other day, "Why am I crying when I know in my heart, in my faith that I will see them again." The response from this person was, "You're crying because you can't talk to them anymore." Maybe that's the sadness we have to learn to accept as humans. Whether you believe in something after death or not, there is a sadness in losing someone who is no longer on earth. But there is also a joy. There is a joy in knowing that you got to know them and be affected by them.
I read something recently that really resonated with me.
It said, "Destruction is essential to construction."
This hit me for a number of reasons. In accepting loss in all different forms there is destruction. The destruction of human bodies and living versions of ourselves. The past few years being a mom and finding myself have felt a bit like that to be honest. Losing someone just further makes me think of the destruction of a life though. Where that person existed is now gone. The pandemic stole a lot. It stole time with people. It stole away the holidays and gatherings with family that we weren't able to have. It destroyed lives living and dead.
Maybe destruction is essential to construction. For the loss of lives, time, and people can only further push us forward into new lives where we learn from things. To live where we not only cherish the time we had with people but cherish the new lives we are living as the effect of them. I think people live on in the ones they affect while they're alive.
They live on in their loved one's actions.
So today I still feel sad but thankful for every interaction I was able to have with my loved ones, the ones on earth and the ones gone. Whether it was small or large, people matter and our interactions matter. To keep living each day with knowing there are no guarantees in life. In my opinion every day is a gift and love is more powerful than human beings can fully comprehend.
I will miss and love you always.
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